You + me also called "about us" by many.

This is Nevan, the one-man wonder from down under. AKA Australia. #OneManAgency

The copywriting superstar writing blockbuster copy on lackluster budget. #BigLeagueCopywriting

And this is you , a highly charged savvy hunter who’s searching for someone with a sharp sense for words in today’s attention economy. Words that play with your customers like winter snowball fight and let them win too. (Preferably at a price point that doesn’t require selling any internal organs.)

I’ve got a black belt in business and a PhD in pun. When I start firing, the life of your rivals come undone.

Always put the write foot forward to take your message from mundane to mind-blown, drab to fab, blah to brilliant. Writing Ogilvy class copy without the sort of price tag where soul voluntarily walks out of your body. Copy sooo good, they’d tear up wishing they thought of that.

Well hello, Mr/s stunning!

Start your Friday with a kiss from yours truly,

The kiss from yours truly I mean, why wouldn’t you? Her kiss comes with healing powers.

Okay I’m not a gambler but I’ll bet my wine collection, (hoping 3 half empty bottles can be called a collection)

You don’t care about how intoxicated I get with poetry or prose,

You’re more interested in finding if my words are pretty as Marilyn Monroe legs…

If they can sell like rose on Valentine’s Day.

See how she’s gently & elegantly pulling at her high heel’s leather lace? Using the same technique I’ll pull at the heartstring of your customers. The portfolio is neatly tucked behind the picture, click away at will.

Or not, just skip past it, because you can.

Made my job, a tad bit tougher. You’re a slippery one, I see.

It’s been a wobbly kind of Friday anyway, got to grease the wheels now and keep the sweet oil flowing.

Anyhow, the question that is thundering through your head,

Will this $80/hr hire power generate enough firepower to match the $500/hr copywriting superstars out there?

Can my words kill? Kill your poor conversion rate i.e.

Could this underdog deliver like a top dog?

Let me answer those questions by turning into a French toast thief.

I’ll bring in tasty French toast for you, leaving dry toast for the rest of your rivals. (Unless you want me to leave them crumbs? Oh that’s cold, me like you already. Treat your competition like cookies; you just can’t eat enough of them, yumm.)

And as a special bonus, I’ll even steal all their jams, Nutella and all other kinds of spreads for you for free.

Those words that you’re so hell-bent on finding out about are like super-powered serum that will turn the face of your brand shinier than all the South Korean K-pop stars combined.

Basically be the buzz of your industry, you get the idea.

Clean your copy up Let’s clean up your copy.

Plus I’m way down the price ladder.

So you won’t have to pawn your grandma’s pearls to hire me. (Unless you want to, in which case, I won’t stop you. Pearls are nice.)

Now can I take you from blah to brilliant? Add the relish to your sandwich, the yin to your yang, the Robin to your Batman?

Eff yes, I can. I churn profitable copy like clockwork.

Ps, as an ad man, we occasionally turn into a mad man to hunt heck of an alliteration.

We’re junkies, and word is our drug. Using similes to metaphors, I’ll give your copy a hug. (So if our hair sometimes looks like this, consider it occupational hazard.)

The hairy mess